Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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