So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
