no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
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A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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