You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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