yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
