so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
