Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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