Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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