I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
