I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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