it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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