Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
