Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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