Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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