If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
