How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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