I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
