And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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