I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
