Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
