don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
