I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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