im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
