operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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