Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
