Im at strip club and am horny
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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