and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize