check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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