I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.