I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was