this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours