So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize