Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
