Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
