Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
