Sry I called you an 8
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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