She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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