I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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