I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
