They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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