Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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