we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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