You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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