Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize