is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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