he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
