I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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