My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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