he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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