Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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