Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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