when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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