The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
