i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
